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  #1  
Cũ 14-02-2012, 00:48
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vnmission vnmission vẫn chưa có mặt trong diễn đàn
 
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Mặc định Trau dồi tiếng Anh

(Nhân ngày 14-2, chỉ dành cho gentlemen học tiếng Anh)

ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory....
I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and
'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try
Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!
Trả Lời Kèm Trích Dẫn Bài Này
2 Thành viên sau đây nói lời CẢM ƠN bạn vnmission vì đã gửi Bài viết hữu ích này:
Dat_stamp (14-02-2012), ThinhVuongVu (14-02-2012)
  #2  
Cũ 14-02-2012, 00:51
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vnmission vnmission vẫn chưa có mặt trong diễn đàn
 
Ngày tham gia: 05-04-2008
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Đã được cảm ơn 11,302 lần trong 1,352 Bài
Mặc định The 11th Husband

The 11th Husband

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.

On their wedding night, she said to her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a Virgin".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement and design a new state of the-art method.

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it...

"Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband #9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was admire it.....

"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?

"You're with the GOVERNMENT, this time I KNOW I'm gonna get SCREWED!"
Trả Lời Kèm Trích Dẫn Bài Này
2 Thành viên sau đây nói lời CẢM ƠN bạn vnmission vì đã gửi Bài viết hữu ích này:
Dat_stamp (14-02-2012), ThinhVuongVu (14-02-2012)
  #3  
Cũ 14-02-2012, 01:22
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ngotthuha231 ngotthuha231 vẫn chưa có mặt trong diễn đàn
Tem Không Răng
 
Ngày tham gia: 02-12-2007
Đến từ: Hà Nội
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Đã được cảm ơn 14,751 lần trong 2,495 Bài
Mặc định

Trích dẫn:
Nguyên văn bởi vnmission Xem Bài
(Nhân ngày 14-2, chỉ dành cho gentlemen học tiếng Anh)
Trả Lời Kèm Trích Dẫn Bài Này
Thành viên sau đây nói lời CẢM ƠN bạn ngotthuha231 vì đã gửi Bài viết hữu ích này:
Dat_stamp (14-02-2012)
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